Not LAME JOKES

Just another joke to start your day with a laugh, and no more lame jokes please...like what Lawrence have said and said again...lame is so last year...hope you guys enjoy what's below this...though I'm not much into cars...this will do for now( it has to do for now...what else can I do...hehe..)

Why Microsoft shouldn't make cars

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy
more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

Like the last line, I would like to shut down my engine now...it's the bed for me...the soft santuary is inviting me to lay on it already...bye bye people...catch you guys next time.

Tactics

What happens when one get jobless

Hey there! So being jobless which I coincidentally always am, I decided to post some update about life, and what could be more interesting than our favorite twin: Co-owners of this blog: KK Twin! Similarly coincidentally, my phone is always in my hand so I managed to take a picture that strongly illustrate the sweetness of their loving brotherhood. =D

Another agenda on this post is to show off my mania. And to Meng Wee, apparently the condition maniacs are suffering from is 'mania', not 'maniacness'. Pardon my poor vocabulary and hantamful language. When one as lifeless, jobless and geeky as me, one computer just cannot satisfy his insatiable hunger for technology. Who in this world would need 2 computers, 4 cursor-controllers and 3 keyboards to game? Well Mr. Who doesn't need it. Lawrance do.

I am never good at ending a post properly. In fact, most of the time I got some idea for the next post, I started typing, and halfway through I lost interest and can't wait to click the 'PUBLISH POST' button. In fact, the fact I stated in the last sentence was wrong. The factual fact is, it happens every time. Including this time. Tata!

ZhuZhu8th

U.S Navy visits MSPSBS

2 weeks ago crews of a US Navy ship visit MSPSBS to give a concert. I can't help but notice the typical Bruneian food for their 'refreshment'. This is probably a conversation that took place during the refreshment.

Navy: I know what this is! I saw this on TV before! It's called Fried Springroll!

Malay teacher: No no no! Wrong! That is POPIA!



Have a nice day! =D


ZhuZhu8th

Meng Wee's credit

Here's a short riddle for everyone:

Yesterday, Wen Zhi said he has phone credits worth $5.00. Meng Wee then said he has 10 times more than Wen Zhi. How much phone credits does Meng Wee have? Let me answer this for you: $55.00.

Today, Wen Zhi said he has phone credits worth -$5.00 (negative five dollars). Meng Wee then said he has 10 times more than Wen Zhi. How much phone credits does Meng Wee have? Answer this yourself.

(The answer is not -$55.00. As Meng Wee has 'more credits' than Wen Zhi, Meng Wee's credits should at least be -$4.99.)




ZhuZhu8th

Conscious with Unconscious

What comes into mind when you were given the word conscious and unconscious? I guess it's an easy question and answer.

What comes into mind when I ask what is the correlation between conscious and unconscious? It's an everyday life query that people are usually oblivious of.

Sometimes you would encounter a state of mind where this two matter conflicts each other or go along with each other. Based on my understanding, this is how it goes...

Example 1: Someone who had an education being offered a cigarette would definitely say no... but what would his other part of mind have to say: hey cant you at least give this DEADLY drug a chance? Next second you know it, smoky grey clouds filled the air and your life belongs to the tobacco industry from then onwards.

Example 2: This is the part I told you about your favourite food; sushi!! (Wait... that's my favourite food). The 1st time when your tongue comes in contact with this delightful sensation, you'll experienced 'heaven' and this memory would be placed with the door next to love. The next time when you step outside a Japanese restaurant, your saliva would flood the whole stretch of roads. Though you may not recall any past images, subconsciously you will relate this with the 'heaven' you come across in your earlier age.

In contraire, there would be the bad experience known as trauma. If you swallow some pills and some get caught in your respiratory pipeline, choking would be inevitable. Even if you survive, you most probably ended up having nightmares. This kind of phobia can only be overcome by yourself but friends would always be helpful and some may be drive by their personal partners to rid this evil that haunts you timelessly.

Example 3: This is the 'objects relations' theory i'm going to talk about. This is much less concerned about struggles between parts of mind, and much more concerned about how people understand and represent their relationship with other people. The "objects" in this case are representation of people. This is how you experienced and remember when a particular action is done by others.

A clear example of this would be the 2nd love relationship you're having. Experts say that couples would usually recreate the normal feeling they experience in their 1st. This is the reason why some are unable to start a new relationship when they had the worst outcome of their 1st unless those relationships can be created in some fashion that neglect this dynamics.

So this sums it up the topic I shared today.

Innocent